She asked her husband for a divorce at a time of tension. What should she do?

Question: 84144

At a time of tension, a woman asked her husband for a divorce. What does she have to do?.

Answer

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah and his family.

Firstly:

It is not permissible for a woman to ask her husband for a divorce unless there is a reason for that, such as bad treatment on the husband’s part, because of the report narrated by Abu Dawood (2226), al-Tirmidhi (1187) and Ibn Maajah (2055) from Thawbaan (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who asks her husband for a divorce when it is not absolutely necessary, the fragrance of Paradise will be forbidden to her.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

But if she does that when she is very angry or at a moment of tension, then she has to ask Allaah for forgiveness.

A woman should beware of making a request, for perhaps her husband may become angry and divorce her out of stubbornness, so her request will become the cause of her family being broken.

Moreover, there is nothing more harmful to married life than the husband or wife’s feeling that the other party can do without them, and is thinking of getting rid of them.

Both spouses must be patient and use kind words, as enjoined by Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):

“And say to My slaves (i.e. the true believers of Islamic Monotheism) that they should (only) say those words that are the best. (Because) Shaytaan (Satan) verily, sows a state of conflict and disagreements among them. Surely, Shaytaan (Satan) is to man a plain enemy”

[al-Isra’ 17:53]

Secondly:

If a person gets angry he should learn how to control it, and he should not say anything under the influence of anger that he will regret later on. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised a man by saying: “Do not become angry” and he repeated that several times, and he said: “Do not get angry.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6116).

To learn more about how to deal with one’s anger, please see question no. 658.

May Allaah help us all to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.

And Allaah knows best.

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