Is it obligatory to inform a suitor of hair growing on the face?

Question: 200268

It helped me a lot in making the discision I made elhamdullilah. Introduction. I am not married yet but Ive come to an age that people are interested but not lot have asked my hand because I am still studying. In our little community they dont ask hand of girls who are still studying, I dont know why, maybe they’re afraid to be rejected? Allahu ahlam. But honestly I don’t think I’ll be able to be a good whife and a student at the same time but that is something I will think about when someone will come In Sha Allah. Question: I have a problem. Certain parts on my body ( legs, armpits, lips) are to hairy and I even have sideburns. I pluck it so it doesn’t grow fast as when I shave it ( I do nothing with my sideburns). If you see me, so just my face cause I way hijaab en abaya, you would never tell that I have this issue. It’s not that I let it grow, definitly not my armpits cause we are not allowed to alhmdoullilah. I have two question; – Should I better tell or not tell the man who will ask my hand about my condition ? And how, trough whom I should say it to him, cause I won’t be sitting with him alone untill I got married and than it’s to late i suppose.

Answer

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah and his family.

Firstly:

There is nothing wrong with a woman removing hair from the face or lips, whether that is done using something that will stop is appearing altogether or by removing it every time it appears, because this hair is one of the things about which nothing is said (in Islam), and such matters are forgiven.

Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: What is the ruling on women removing unwanted hair permanently, i.e., so that it will not grow back again, by using cosmetic preparations such as creams and herbs? Is that regarded as changing the creation of Allah?

He replied: There is nothing wrong with that and it is not regarded as the kind of changing that is forbidden. If a man or woman removes hair from the armpit or pubic region with something that will prevent it growing back again, there is nothing wrong with that and there is no sin in it.

End quote from Fataawa Noor ‘ala ad-Darb

http://www.binbaz.org.sa/mat/200802

For more information, please see the answer to question no. 9037

Secondly:

The basic principle is that any physical defect that is off-putting to either of the spouses, or causes harm, or leads to missing out on the purpose of marriage, must be disclosed.

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The ruling is that any physical defect that is off-putting to the other spouse, in such a way that the purposes of marriage, such as compassion and love, could not be achieved, should be disclosed so that suitor may make a decision in the light of that.

End quote from Zaad al-Ma‘aad, 5/166

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The correct view is that a physical defect is anything that leads to missing out on the purpose of marriage. Undoubtedly some of the most important purposes of marriage are pleasure, service and producing offspring. If there is anything that prevents fulfillment of these purposes, then it is a physical defect.

End quote from ash-Sharh al-Mumti‘, 12/220

The guidelines on determining the kind of physical defect of which one must inform the husband or suitor, so that he may make a decision in the light of that, are three:

1.The illness must have an impact on married life and affect the woman’s ability to fulfil the rights of the husband and children.

2.It should be off-putting to the husband if he sees it or smells it.

3.It should be real and permanent, not something imagined or temporary that will go away with time or after marriage.

Please see the answer to question no. 111980

In Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah (19/14) it says: If this problem is temporary and is one of the things that happen to women then disappear, there is no need to inform the suitor about it. But if this problem is a kind of illness that has an impact or is not a minor, temporary problem, and the proposal goes ahead when she still has the problem and has not been healed of it, then in that case her guardian must inform the suitor of that. End quote.

Based on the above:

If this hair can be removed permanently, whether that is by means of creams, medicines or hormones that control it, then it is prescribed to remove it and ward off its harm, and it is not necessary to inform the suitor of that at all.

If it cannot be removed permanently, but it can be taken care of and whatever appears of it can before it becomes obvious and off-putting to the husband, then it is not necessary to inform him of it, but you have to do that pay attention to it and ward off harm from yourself and your husband.

Is it so happens that despite paying attention to it some of it is left and is off-putting, and the harm cannot be warded off altogether, then in this case it is necessary to inform the suitor of the situation.

There is no stipulation that this should be done by you telling him directly; rather it could be done by showing him a medical report about your condition, or telling some trustworthy women among his relatives, such as his mother or sister, about the situation, and they can then tell him about it.

And Allah knows best.

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