I want to marry. I wish I have a good wife to live with in happiness and satisfaction, to have a loving relationship with, to pray at night with, her to be my source of comfort and I be her shelter. I am a man who lives with a big fear of marriage and women. I live in shyness and timidity. I feel I need to marry for some time now, my parents are persisting but I am too shy to say I want to marry. Although I feel like I want to scream and say I want to marry.

I feel that I have made my shyness and doubts about my sexual abilities a barrier between me and marriage. Yes, I would love to get married. I do not know why I run away from marriage, is it because I fear failing a lot or because I am not confident? I am a hesitant person as for the matters of buying and selling. I grew up in a conservative family; I rarely hear any talk about sex or even references to it. Although I hear a lot how our relatives talk to their sons about sex and make jokes, and the sons feel free to express themselves about sex and marriage.

I fear a lot I fail sexually in my marital life; I even went to have a fertility test, blood tests and other similar things. I do not know if it is my fear of marriage or my desire to stay away from it. Some of the investigations made me doubt myself even more, yet, I still feel it is not the investigations that make me hesitant to marry, it is my fear of it more than anything else. Every time I intend to talk to my family about my marriage I feel terrified.

Since my childhood, to be honest, I have convinced myself that it is impossible for me to marry, and that I will stay lonely until I die.
If anyone asks me about when I intend to marry, I immediately answer saying: “in paradise”. I feel that this has been imprinted onto my subconscious.

I want to marry, by Allah I want to marry. My fear of women and failing stays as a barrier between me and marriage. Also I cannot imagine that I am having intercourse with a woman, I cannot imagine that I am sleeping and travelling with a woman, all these matters stay as barriers between me and marriage.

I encouraged myself some time ago and talked to my family, and they engaged a girl to me and her family approved. But when the time to meet her came, I felt big fear from the whole matter, and then said to my family that I do not want to marry this girl.

I am over thirty years old now. I feel helpless although the hope is there. I feel hesitant although I have a great desire to marry. I am badly affected by my problem; I saw many psychiatrists complaining from my great worry and depression. They all said to me I have to take tablets, while they do not feel my suffering.

Except the last psychiatrist, he really put his hand on the root of the problem, which is my great fear of women, marriage, failing, and sex.

Please guide me. I need your advice and guidance. I want to destroy these barriers between me and marriage. Any word, negative or positive, will affect me a lot. I need who takes my hand to rest, comfort and marital happiness.

He is afraid of meeting people

Grave disagreement and arguments between the spouses; should we advise them to get divorced?

He is assailed by doubts because he no longer focuses on his prayer

Treating waswasah by seeking refuge with Allah from the Shaytan and ignoring it

Concerning obedience to his disbelieving parents, and attribution of an illegitimate son

Suffering From Psychological Problem: Fear of Marriage

Children Stealing