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72,08015/05/1999

Parents forcing their daughter into a marriage

Question: 4602

I am muslim. I have to ask a question about
my friend who is being forced to marry someone by her parents. She wanted to marry someone
else. The guy who she is being forced to marry is more educated and wealthy than the one
who she wanted to marry. Her parents has disapproved of her choice and they are forcing
her to marry that guy. The guy who she likes is also muslim and very much devoted into
islam. But just because the society would not talk about them they don’t like the guy who
she loves. Any suggestions??

Answer

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah and his family.

It is not permissible for a woman to be made to marry someone she does not want. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: A previously-married woman should not be married without being consulted, and a virgin should not be married without asking her permission. They said, O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given? He said, By her silence.

(Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6455).

Aaishah reported that a girl came to her and said, My father married me to his brothers son in order to raise his social standing, and I did not want this marriage [I was forced into it]. Aaishah said, Sit here until the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) comes. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and she told him about the girl. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent for her father, then he gave the girl the choice of what to do. She said, O Messenger of Allaah, I have accepted what my father did, but I wanted to prove something to other women.

(Reported by al-Nisaai, 3217).

So, both the guardian and the woman must agree to the marriage. With regard to your request for our advice regarding the problem mentioned in the question, so long as this marriage has taken place, it is better for the woman to try to keep it going as much as she can, and to try to accept this husband. She should seek reward through pleasing her parents and also try to reform her husband through a gentle approach and praying for guidance for him. And Allaah is the Source of Strength.

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Source

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

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