I think that I have some personal problems. For example, I forget things quickly, I am not focused, I am lazy and careless, I am not organized in my work, may character is weak and I am unable to say no to other people. This sometimes causes me a lot of distress and regret, and other problems that I do not want to mention. This is despite the fact that Allaah has bestowed some blessings upon me, and I enjoy some positive things in life, such as success in my professional and family life, praise be to Allaah. Sometimes they say that I am intelligent and educated, and even a genius, and I think that there is some truth in these words, but the problems is that these personal problems that I mentioned bother me a great deal. I hope you can advise me on how to solve these problems, and that you will also pray for me.
Firstly:
You should praise Allaah for the blessings that He has bestowed upon you, namely Islam and true guidance, good health, the ability to hear, see and speak, and other innumerable blessings, including the positive things and success in your professional and family life that you mention. You should utter words of praise and thanksgiving to Allaah, for how many people are deprived of these blessings or many of them?
If a person is content with that which Allaah has decreed for him, and is aware of the blessing of Allaah in the things that He has given him, he will enjoy peace of mind and his fear and grief will disappear. This will usually bring a solution to many of the things that are bothering him, such as lack of focus, shyness and so on.
Secondly:
Rest assured that these things that you mention can be dealt with, improved and changed, but this depends on whether you really want that and do the things that will help you to achieve that. One of the greatest means of doing that is asking Allaah to improve your attitude and to grant you maturity, and to protect you from the evil of your own self, and so on. So strive to recite a lot of the du’aa’s of that type narrated from the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
Another means of improving your memory and reducing forgetfulness is to keep your mind busy and make it get used to memorizing verses from the Book of Allaah. The more a person memorizes, the easier it becomes for him and the more enthusiastic he will become, and more able to achieve that.
Another means is to stop looking, listening, speaking, eating and sleeping too much, so that your heart will be prepared to memorize that which is beneficial, for too many distractions make the mind unfocused.
What is meant by doing too much of these things is that for which there is no need and in which there is no benefit.
Another means is to avoid haraam things, especially in food and drink, and looking. Concerning this al-Shaafa’i (may Allaah have mercy on him) wrote his famous lines of verse:
“I complained to Wakee’ about my bad memory, and he advised me to give up sin.
He said, ‘Know that knowledge is light, and the light of Allaah is not to be entrusted to a sinner.’”
Thirdly:
There is nothing wrong with you reading some books about organization which will help you learn the methods of being organized, making decisions, and controlling your feelings of anxiety and shyness, and interacting with people in general.
We ask Allaah to give you strength and success in this world and in the Hereafter.