I have an autistic child and I always pray for his death, because I am no longer able to support him, especially since he is growing up. His father left us, and he has become strong and beats me. I tried ruqyah and took him to Islamic centres and tried to educate him. I made many vows, but Allah did not want him to be healed, so what is the ruling on my praying for his death, because I say: O Allah, heal him or take him sooner rather than later?
It is not permissible to offer such a supplication, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) forbade praying against oneself or one’s children.
Muslim (3014) narrated from Jabir ibn ‘Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Do not pray against yourselves, do not pray against your children, and do not pray against your wealth, lest you happen to do that at a time when whatever Allah is asked for, He grants it, and your supplication is answered.”
If you believe that Allah, may He be exalted, will answer your supplication for this child to die, then why do you not believe that Allah will answer your supplication for him to be healed and guided, and to mend his ways?
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymin (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked:
There is a woman whose oldest son imitates his father in doing some prohibited actions, hence she hates him because of his imitation of his father in doing prohibited actions and not fearing Allah, and she prays for his death for that reason. She is asking about the ruling on praying against her son.
He (may Allah have mercy on him) replied:
As for praying for her son’s death, this is wrong. It is not appropriate for anyone who sees a misguided person to pray for his death; rather what he should do is try to advise him as much as he is able. He should also ask Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, to guide him, for all things are in the hand of Allah, and people’s hearts are between two of His fingers, and He turns them however He wills. How often have people despaired of things and thought that they could never happen, then Allah, may He be exalted, made them easy to attain. So do not think it unlikely that Allah, may He be glorified, will guide your son. Pray for him to be guided, and keep on advising him, for Allah has power over all things."(Fatawa Nur ‘ala ad-Darb 6/13-14).
Our advice to you is to stop praying against your son, and let your supplication be for his healing and guidance, and for him to attain what is best in this world and the hereafter. Ask Allah to bless you by making him dutiful and righteous, and to ward off from you the harm he is causing.
You can also seek the help of one of your male mahrams, asking him to be constantly in touch with you, so that your son can be wary of him and refrain from harming you.
For more information, please see the answer to question no. 75399 .
We ask Allah, the Most Generous, to heal your son and relieve your distress.
And Allah knows best.
